About CJS


About me

In regards to eating out, I have an intolerance to loud noises, long service waits, white sugary bread, the over use of cheese, lack of sauce, dim lighting, under seasoned food, unbalanced or bland flavours and sloppy servings.

A rude manager always makes me question the cleanliness of a kitchen and the freshness of their food.

If I get an egg on my plate when the menu didn’t stipulate this, I will lose my shit.

Whilst I appear to be a 60 year old man in nature, I consider myself modern and hip. I expect all eateries to have fresh and contemporary food items on their menu with vegetarian and gluten free options.
The vegetarian aspect is important as my Scottish mother and father fed me black pudding for breakfast when I was young. When I was seven I realised what I was actually eating and cut out all red meat, pork, and eventually chicken, almost a decade later.

In my twenties I bonded with a vegan lady with whom I ate out at vegetarian restaurants regularly. I already drank soy milk but I learned to enjoy soy cheese and mock meat. I really delved into the vegan culture, visiting the anti poaching and Sea Sheppard ships at Williamstown docks. However, I remain a fish and chipercrit, still eating creatures of the sea variety.

Unfortunately dairy isn’t the only trigger to a sore, enlarged belly. After a beer, cider or bread I noticed my belly ballooning out as though I was six months pregnant. Thus, when I visit eateries I look for the gluten free option. Apparently a number of people have the same issue with wheat and/or gluten, so I expect all establishments in developed countries such as Australia, to have delicious gluten free or wheat-reduced options



  1. Greg

    Hi John

    In addition to our Port Melbourne venue, we have just recently launched a new cafe in Prahran, and would love you to come in and try our coffee and breakfast menu. I am more than happy to offer you and a friend breakfast on the house. After reading some of your recent blogs, it sounds like you have had a few negative experiences lately. I hope we can change that.
    We have a number of interesting food options including Russian Specials, American inspired BBQ, and some great vegan, vegetarian and gluten free dishes. Our chef is the legendary Ryo Kitahara, a protégé of Iron Chef Sakai. Alongside our extensive menu, we also serve sensational coffee. Just let me know which day you would like to come in.

    Kind regards,

    Ph: 0435 891 944

  2. obatsoepraba

    Thanks for following my blog Chef John. I browsed around your blog and I think it’s really awesome. I also thought your ‘About Me’ page is really interesting. I am conscious omnivore trying as much as I can to eat and consume only sustainably sourced, local and organic foods but I can relate because I live with friends who are gluten-free, vegetarian, pescatarian or vegan. I’m very happy to see progress is happening in our lifetime as there are vegetarian, gluten-free and vegan options available when we dine out. Looking forward to reading your reviews and dining adventures. Happy New Year as well! Cheers.

  3. Greg

    Good afternoon,

    I wanted to let you know about a new BBQ Rib Eating Competition we have just launched.

    Starting from the 24th of February and over the next 6 weeks we will be holding BBQ Rib Eating contest once a week. With the 6 finalists to battle it out for the $1000 cash prize on Monday 7th of April.

    The competition is simple, eat as many American BBQ Ribs as you can in 35 minutes plus a side of coleslaw (coleslaw must be fully consumed to qualify).

    Entry fee is $99 and the winner on each night will get their money fully refunded. Entry into the final is also free.

    The ultimate winner will receive $1000 in prize money, an obligatory T-Shirt and their picture on the Wall of Fame. Registrations to the event are made online atwww.thirdwavecafe.com.au/competition.php We are planning on making it a biennial event.

    If you think, your readers may be interested in the event, could you write about it. If you have any questions, please contact me on info@thirdwavecafe.com.au or on 9676 2399.

    Thanks for your interest,


    P.S. If you still haven’t had a chance to drop in and try our fare, please do. We have an open invitation for all bloggers (and a friend) to have lunch or breakfast on us in either Prahran or Port Melbourne Cafe.

  4. Conor Bofin

    Hi Chef John,
    Thanks too for the blog follow. I really love your Scottish intolerance, if you will pardon the poor pun. I am assuming you are as black and white in your views as most Scots I know. I see this as a good thing BTW. The sub heading on the blog”Expects Top Notch service and the freshest ingredients at all eateries, or will ask for his money back.” pretty well sums up my attitude to crappy food service. Sadly, it is more the norm than the exception.
    Keep at it.

  5. Aden

    Is there any one who never tasted african food in Melbourne! Just your post on little Africa North melbourne! With so many african restaurants in Melbourne and majority of them located outside Footscray. Fitzroy alone is home five african restaurants..

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